I Am A REAL Woman


Which means I’m not as flawless as the woman on the cover of the magazine — but, hey, at least I’m REAL. I look as gorgeous just waking up as I do during any other time of the day.

These wrinkles? I’ve earned them through years of concern over children and businesses. The furrows of concern are fading a bit, but they tell of a time when I was immensely concerned …about always doing what I was told I was ‘supposed’ to do to please demanding people, though I’ve mostly gotten over that. The little ones by my eyes tell the story of late-night studying so I could spend the evening helping my children with their homework first and time spent laughing at YouTube videos. They all speak of days in the sun when I forgot my hat, but we still had fun and worked hard.

The stretch marks so big and straight you might wonder if I’ve had a C-section? No. I got pregnant five times. Shifting from 117 lbs to nearly 200 during the last four months of my first pregnancy was a bit much for my skin to accommodate. And then I repeated that transformation with each of the next four.

That little muffin top? Well, I could blame it on the afore mentioned pregnancies, but mostly it came from emotional eating, which occasionally still happens when I’m feeling particularly sad or lonely.

Long strands of white hair mixed with the beautiful, totally natural red? They almost all came with the divorce and the ex’s court case for full custody. He lost.

Other miscellaneous looseness? Not too long ago I was talking to a guy-friend who was grumbling about his sex life. His complaint was that sex wasn’t as good because his partner was ‘a bit slack.’ Yep, that too. Despite Kegels it comes with the territory. Get over it – you’re not exactly what you were at 21 either.

And, yes, I only shave my legs when I want to because white hair is invisible on my perfectly white legs. Trust me, I’ve tried to tan, but found out long ago I’m quite tan-resistant, so I quit trying. And even if it wasn’t invisible, what law is there about women being hairless Barbie dolls? Or tan?


I have feelings. I cry when I’m sad or lonely and I get angry sometimes and clench my jaw. I love and admire those I choose to love and admire, and when I do you’ll know it. I tap into the entire range of human emotion because I’ve opened myself up to fully feeling. Some days I might hate you as much as I passionately love you — at the same time.

I have expectations: flush the toilet, show up for dinner on time if guests are coming, and communicate authentically and kindly, please.

I have passion about my own interests and my business. I’m not going to suddenly abandon it because it is threatening you somehow to see me successful and fulfilled without you.

I’m a bit (or maybe a lot) quirky. If you also love the 36th proposition in Euclid’s Elements, running at dawn, Plato, existential philosophy, somatic therapy and are up on the latest in FB marketing we’ll have a lot to talk about.

I tend to be rather laid back, because not much is worth getting that excited over. Conversely, I can be rather animated and excited as well.

I like to think I’m non-judgmental, because quite frankly, I’ve done my fair share of things I wish I had not done, but consider it a valid lesson in this course on being human. I think we all have the freedom to make choices and I really don’t know the circumstances prompting your decisions.


Guys ask how a HOT woman like me can possibly be single. Well, I’m not entirely sure, but I know when I stand in my total power as a REAL woman it is intimidating. So often HOT = SHALLOW. I am certainly not that kind of woman.

I am not a Photoshopped model on a magazine cover, and I expect to be treated with more depth and realness than the “beauty” created by makeup, tucks and pixels because I am real. I HAVE LIVED LIFE AND IT SHOWS. WHY SHOULD I HIDE IT?

I am REAL.
I am EXTRAORDINARY. And so are you.

Embrace your greatness.
You do the world no favors by hiding your genius.

Michelle Harkey, Body-Connection Coach

One Response to “I Am A REAL Woman”

  1. Michelle Murphy Says:

    Awesome! Thank you for sharing !

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